An Air Force recruiter is sitting at his desk doing paper work. There is a knock at his office door. He looks up to see a man in his early to mid-twenties standing there. “May I help you?”
“I hope so, I was looking to join up.”
“Well that’s what I am here for. Have a seat and let’s see what we can do.” Tech Sergeant Allen was glad someone came in, he was falling short of his quota this month. Even though Vietnam was over the fall out with the youth of the country was making it hard to get bodies. Especially in urban areas. Though Chicago wasn’t as bad as the New England area and California, he still had to go out a lot to try and get leads.
“I hear you guys are starting to offer more jobs with computers?” the potential recruit asked.
“Well yes, we’re the more current branch with technology. You might even get one of those jobs. I hope you understand I can’t promise you anything until after we have you take a few tests though.”
“I understand.”
“So what is your name?”
“Todd Matherson.”
“Well okay there Todd, when were you wanting to ship, that is if you pass all of the tests.”
“I can leave as soon as you can get me to basic.”
The next week had Todd running around Chicago to the processing center to take tests and getting all kinds of physical tests. Sergeant Allen was impressed with Todd’s results. He scored nearly perfect on all of the batteries they gave him, except mechanical. Within seven days he had all of the paperwork in order and offered Todd a contract with a guaranteed job working with computers.
Todd arrived in Texas for his Air Force basic training in early December. It was hard for him to start, he wasn’t in the best of physical condition. Even though he had been cleared healthy, he barely passed the fitness test to get in. A little extra weight wasn’t even the problem, the fact he had never done any real activity in his life was. Now though he was making up for lost time.
That was the hardest part. The rest was cake. Even learning to drill and put on a uniform. He had always loved sci fi and wearing a uniform was part of it in a way. The academics were so easy he soon found himself at the top of his class. His progress in running and pushups was impressed his instructors. Which was understandable given the regiment he was on. The real problem with him being at the top was that it called attention to him. This was the seventies after all, sure it wasn’t the Marines, but it was still hard, especially for a kid who had not even tried in PE.
His instructors were not that hard on him for the most part, but when something did go wrong, it could get bad. There were no rules against laying hands on, or if there were no one seemed to care. The eight-week course was the hardest thing he had ever done. But once it was over he earned a promotion for finishing on top. Then he was off to his job training. He landed 51050 Computer Systems Technician. Which is what he wanted from the start. The training was a joke to him. He had a graduate degree in computers that hadn’t even been invented yet. So another promotion was granted to Todd when he graduated from here as well.
Because he graduated at the top of both his basic and job schools he was able to choose his duty station. He got as close to Las Vegas as he could. He spent the next two years there, making a sizable amount on the side playing the tables and events at the Casino’s. Eventually his time ended, his two years were up. He had been good at his job, they offered him two promotions to stay in. But he declined. He had gotten what he wanted, the legitimacy of his existence.
It was one thing to have a birth certificate and a social security number, but people could always dig deeper. If one had a distinguished military career, even a short one, behind them, then people would usually stop there. Todd Matherson had existed before, then stopped, but now he was among the living once again thanks to Tommy Reynolds.
James just sat there with a puzzled look on his face for several moments before he spoke. “Dude, I know losing your idol must be hard, but this is borderline a sick joke.”
“If it wasn’t true I wouldn’t say anything like this.”
“I mean even if it is true, I am sure you know what I am going to ask next.”
“You are going to want me to prove it of course.”
“It’s like you are a mind reader.”
“Okay, I guess I could do a little magic.” Tommy moved to the back of the room near a window. “I am going to stand here for a few minutes, then I will come through the door and tell you hi.” James sat there. And sat. He knew the joke was up.
James turned to Tommy. “Well you almost had me there for a ……..”
“Hi.” James turned to the door and saw Tommy standing there. Wearing the same clothes. He turned back to the corner and saw Tommy there as well. He kept going back and forth between the two Tommys until he almost had whiplash. After a few minutes the new Tommy looked at the real Tommy and nodded. Then he left the room.
“Well I have to go now,” Tommy said.
“Where?” James asked.
“Where do you think? I have to go back in time so I can walk into the room and say hi. The Tommy over there will take my place here.”
“But what about you.”
“We have started a loop. I’ve only done this once before. He is me, just from the future.”
“From when?”
“I would say about 5 minutes from now. That is about how long it will take for me to get back to when he got here.”
“So he becomes you then?”
“He is me, try to keep up. We have watched enough time travel shows to have a basic understanding of how this works. But I have to go now.” Tommy left the room. After a couple of minutes he came back. “Well he’s off.”
“Who?”
“Past me. He went back to say hi to you. I am here though. The point is though that I had to prove to you that I actually had a time machine.”
“And now I believe you. But I can’t stop thinking that this you isn’t my you.”
“Yeah, it can get confusing. Temporal mechanics and all. Needless to say I invented the damn thing and from time to time it still throws me for a curb.”
“Well since it is apparent that you have invented a time machine then why…….”
“Just stop there. I will try to get a couple of the disclaimers out of the way. I assume the first is why haven’t I stopped all the big things in the past.” James nodded as he said this. “Contrary to popular belief there is only so much that one person can do, even with the knowledge of the past. Second, how do you know I haven’t stopped the worst things? I mean if I had changed anything, you wouldn’t know about it, only I would.”
“That is a good point, so did you change anything like that?”
“Um, no. The first major problem is that I can’t go back farther than I existed. If I did I would cease to exist from that point on. It is weird, I don’t know why, it just is.”
“How did…..”
“I figure that out? Sure, valid point. I tried various things. Eggs, bugs, even a puppy. I would send them back before they were conceived. All I got was a pile of slop. Sounds kind of vile, in the case of the puppy, but I did what I had to do to make sure I wasn’t gonna end up the same way. So anything prior to 1974 is off limits to me.”
“There are plenty of things that you might have been able to stop though.”
“Yes sir, and like I said earlier, this wasn’t my first loop with two of me. I actually did go back and stop an event. When I returned to the current time I found out things were far worse. Then I had to go back and tell myself not to change it. It led to me deciding to stick to my original plans.”
“Which were?”
“Keeping a low profile and doing what I had to and then getting out. That isn’t to say that I didn’t do any meddling.”
“Such as?”
Tommy pointed to the top of James desk at an item. James grabbed it, a collector’s edition of the Firefly television series on Blue Ray. “What if I told in my original timeline that show only got a 14-episode season and a movie?”
James looked at his box set, it read The complete series, all 110 episodes from 5 seasons and the Movie Trilogy. “That seems like a real loss man. This show was epic. Most think it is one of the best, I mean what if the SfyFy channel didn’t pick it up after Fox screwed it?”
“Nope, it died. The point being that was something I could do, and I did.”
“Well it helped everyone’s careers I hope.”
“Let’s just say we didn’t get stuck with eight seasons of Castle.”
“Of what?”
“Never mind, we got the better deal in this timeline, the point is that I did some things that wouldn’t alter the timeline too much. Even if they did it wasn’t going to do any damage.”
“So why tell me all of this now?” James asked.
“It has been building to this for forty years. Todd Matherson only died when I wanted him too. I feel my position is now where it needs to be to take on the next part of my plan.”
“What are you? Some evil overlord now? Are you bent on world domination?”
“Not quite, but let’s just say the things I couldn’t change in the past to make things better I can do something about now.”
“Well that was as clear as mud.”
“Do you think I talked to you all those times about the market and the history of it all for my health?”
“I thought you really wanted to know that stuff.”
“I did.”
“Holy shit!!” James yelled. “You wanted the historical data so you could go back and get in on the ground floor. And I thought you really gave a shit about my job. That means you have had this damn machine for over 15 years!!”
“No I haven’t. I was working on it for a while. But the closer I got to finishing it the more a plan developed in my head. Since you were a trader at the time and had access to all the historical data, I figured, why not.”
“There was google, even 15 years ago.”
“I know, but you had better access and it gave me a reason to reach out to you. I knew that when the time came that I would need your expertise to help me with my modern day plans. That is why I hired you and am now letting you in on the secret.”
“Well before we go any further, I want to know it all. The details, the plans, all of it. If you need my help, then I have to be all in.”
“I get that, and I am willing to tell you it all. There is a lot though, and I might skip over some. I have spent over 20 years in the past.”
James looked Tommy up and down. Then he did it again. “You certainly are aging well then.”
“Right? What I found was that during my excursions into the past I didn’t age, at least not like people from that time. I would always have the return device on me. If it was that, or me or whatever, I was outside the time I was visiting, therefore I didn’t age like them. To be honest, I have no idea why I didn’t. This all just sounds good and is just theoretical. The bottom line is I didn’t.”
“Good enough for me. So should we order some food and drinks, cause you have some tales to tell.” Tommy nodded and James reached for his phone.
James had been working for his best friend Tommy for just over three years now at his shop. The Emporium of Awesome was a Geeks paradise. Tommy had a knack for not only finding older collectibles of pop culture past, but in the best of conditions and at very reasonable prices. He was so good at it that people would just tell him what they wanted and how much they were willing to pay and he would go on the hunt.
The day had ended and James had just finished locking up the front doors of the Emporium. It was a nice place by most standards, especially those of a hobby/game shop. At two stories is was a large structure in and of itself. The fact that it housed a large nerd habitat was a bonus. He turned and walked past the large row of counters and display cases that lined the front of the building, only breaking for the doors and the restrooms in a far corner.
He made his way towards the center, where the only separate room stood, aside from rooms on the East side for storage. The retail area looked like chaos but was actually quite organized. Tommy had done a lot of research on retail layout. It was set up based on genre, that meant the old and new things were together. Sci Fi, Fantasy, Video games, whatever it was, it was next to its brethren. Almost 4000 square feet was designated to the array of merchandise, and in some spots almost all twelve feet to the ceiling was full as well.
More than once each day a sales associate had to bring the ladder out to accommodate a customer’s desire to get some obscure piece that was high up. Even Andre the Giant would have a hard time getting the authentic WWF Heavyweight Belt that was hanging from the ceiling in a glass case. They had joked on several occasions that they should clear out the area and have an actual ladder match for it. But the price said no, as it was signed by over a dozen greats who had actually held the title.
James reached the structure in the middle. It was the small diner Tommy had installed to cater to the mobs that frequented their establishment for events. Hungry geeks could get restless and it was a good revenue stream. The usual prepackaged food was fine, but Tommy wanted to stand apart so he had an actual kitchen put in and hired a real cook. No one along the lines of Gordan Ramsey, but someone who could make damn good burgers and other comfort foods.
James entered the diner, which could seat just over twenty in the dining space. He went behind the counter and grabbed a couple of beverages from the cooler. He had a long night ahead of him. It was the end of the month and he had to do the books. His favorite time. The exit at the back of the kitchen led him to the area where all the wargamers played their chosen battles. To his right was a large area for the card gamers to throw down, at its peak it could hold one hundred of them.
That was one reason that he brought James on, to do the actual day to day stuff. James had no problem with it. Tommy was good at the hunt and it took a while to do just that, or so James assumed. So he ran the actual store and corresponded with the customers to hand off the request off to his boss so he could go forth and find the treasures in the world.
It wasn’t the most glamorous job in the world, but the pay was good and he had benefits, which was unusual for a job at basically an oversized game shop but he wasn’t complaining. There was a lot of stuff going on that James didn’t really understand though. Then again, he came on kind of late in the game. Tommy had started the business about ten years earlier as a seller on ebay, then moved to the internet where he exploded.
Then he got a small area to keep his stuff and ship from. He had added the storefront just over five years ago and was doing very well. James’s job was to run the store and ship items out all over the world to people that wanted the nerdy items of yesteryear. They really didn’t deal in newer items, since Tommy didn’t really see them as collectible or worth the effort since all the other shops in the world had access to them as well. With no room to negotiate price he felt it was better to stay with the older stuff as long as he could find it.
They were current with a lot of the games though. TSR’s Dungeon’s and Dragon’s was the top RPG and had been running on its 3rd edition from 2001. The Open gaming license idea was brilliant and a whole sub-industry of companies had started around it. Magic the Gathering was still huge as well. The start up Wizards of the Coast had a nice robust program for stores that carried their product. Both of the men were fans of the game and had picked it up shortly after it had come out. James had taken a few years off when he went to college, but Tommy had given him a playset of everything when he came to work for him.
It seemed Tommy had done well for himself in the realm of geek. He was also a Nerd though. The two had known each other almost forty years. They had grown up living next to each other and even gone to school for a few years. That all changed one day when Tommy’s parents decided to let him skip a grade. They still hung out all the time after school though. This lasted a couple of years before Tommy ended up going to some magnet school for smart kids. He graduated high school at 16 and went to college.
They still kept in touch and hung out a lot when he was home from school, which wasn’t often though since he went all year long. So just his breaks. Tommy went on to graduate school for computer stuff at 19, but then they lost touch. James had lost track of him for a few years after that as he finished school and went to college to get a business degree. He ended up teaching though when his aspirations to take over Wall Street didn’t manifest though.
In truth he did have a bit of success, but the high stress level was not his thing. So h had packed it in and moved back home to manage a small branch of a local bank. It wasn’t fancy, but it paid the bills and wasn’t going to give him a heart attack anytime soon. It was around that time that he found Tommy on social media and they began to reconnect. Tommy was out on the West Coast doing freelance work for some of the newer tech companies as a fixer. He would come in when they were stuck on projects and help them work through it.
He had been offered a number of nice jobs but said he liked working as a tech gun for hire. It made him feel important. But he was getting sick of it. A couple of years after that he moved back home. It was the same time that he decided he needed a home base to operate his growing online enterprise. From there they hooked back up in real life and that led to James getting hired. It was nice actually. The two of them spent many a night sitting around being nostalgic for the past and playing games way to late over a couple of beers.
The job wasn’t that difficult, but there was a lot going on, not to mention he oversaw a staff of about twelve. That might seem like a lot for a game store/comic store, but they did a lot of business online, so they had 5 people in the warehouse shipping alone. An IT guy to keep up the site, two that listed things in the system and four that worked the actual store. The facility itself was two stories. The store area was almost 10,000 square feet, and half of that was dedicated to display space for all the regular product. Play space made up the rest. Their events were usually large. The daily games had a lot of people too, but they ran about half a dozen events a day.
Tommy believed in large payouts so they usually took a loss on the daily events, and especially the big ones. His philosophy was simple though, take a loss on the events and the people will love you and do most of their shopping there. Not to mention they would be in the place for a while and Tommy had added a small café to the place, so all the snacks and drinks more than made up for any losses they incurred.
Most of the income came from online though, or the rare occasion that someone came in and picked up one of the high-ticket items. Tommy usually had a few display cases filled with top notch nerd relics. He hunted for the requests that he received, but he also found good deals all the time as well and showcased them in the store for all to gawk over. There had been much debate over the years as to what his own personal collection might look like. It was also usually on James mind, as he had never seen it. The second story of the building was apartments, where Tommy and James both lived, and James knew that there wasn’t a lot of room in any of the units for a huge collection.
What he did know was that aside from the additional 10,000 square foot warehouse attached to the place, which Tommy had custom built to his own specs, there was a basement as well. The thing was, no one was allowed down there and the door had more locks than the bank he used to work at. It was either a huge nerd collection, a CIA black site, or Nuclear Silo. But it was where Tommy spent a lot of his time when he was there. In any case the business was thriving and James wasn’t going to complain.
It was nice to work there and he was even getting a bit more active socially than he had been before. There had been plenty of girlfriends over the years, but they were mostly in the circles that he traveled, which until he worked here had been in finance. They were nice, but there was always something missing. He grew up a nerd and still loved all the things that he did as a kid, plus so much more. But he wanted that same love of geekdom in anyone he was with.
Sure they had some fandom in common with him like a trekkie or a star wars fan, but he wanted them to like them all, just like him. Maybe his standards were too high, or he was just scared to end up like his parents. Amanda had started coming to the shop within the last six months. She was a graduate student at one of the local colleges. She was getting her Masters of Fine Arts there. She wanted to be a writer, to be more exact a Sci-Fi writer. That caught James’s attention as soon as he heard it.
Later this night they were supposed to go out on their first date. He was hurrying to get all the paperwork done so that he would have time to get ready. He would even if he took his normal amount of time, but he wanted to make sure he looked his best. He felt this was the one. At least he thought so, or hoped so. In any case he didn’t want to blow it because of something stupid like BO. He was wrapping up the ordering for the week when a knock came at the door. It was Tommy.
“What’s up boss?” James said.
“I told you not to call me that.”
“I know, but I like to rub ya the wrong way from time to time.”
“I have some bad news.”
James paused a moment to assess the look on his friend’s face to make sure he was being serious. He saw nothing to indicate he wasn’t. His stomach started to kick in with butterflies. Tommy was never too serious, he was a jovial guy. A little bigger than he should be, but always in good spirits. When he said something was bad news the only thing James could do was prepare for the worst. “What is it?”
Tommy walked over to the desk and places an article that had been clipped from the paper on it. James picked it up and looked:
SILICON VALLEY PIONEER TODD MATHERSON DEAD AT 74
Inside his mind, James breathed a sigh of relief. Not that he didn’t have a twinge of sadness at the news, but it wasn’t really that bad. “I’m sorry man.”
“Well he was getting older, it was bound to happen.”
Todd Matherson had been Tommy’s idol from an early age. The man was a legend in the tech industry. Rumor had it he attended Cal Tech in the late 70s and got his PhD in computers in less than two years. He had been given his BS when, in a gathering of all the computer department, he built a state of the art system (at the time) in front of them and then proceeded to give the University the patent. He just asked them to award a scholarship to 5 up and coming computer majors each year and let him have the chance to hire them first when they graduated. The school agreed and netted over one billion dollars from the tech before the patent expired.
There were many more stories about the man through the years as well, he always seemed to be at the right place at the same time. James quickly scanned the rest of the obit before looking back at Tommy. “It says here he had no family. That is kind of sad, a man that accomplished. No picture though, that is weird.”
“Yeah, there are no known pictures of the man. I was actually wondering if you wanted to join me for the funeral.”
James looked at him oddly. Had Tommy reached out and befriended the old genius? “I guess, I mean I know he was your idol and all.”
“He was more than that.”
“A mentor?”
“This may sound weird and totally out there, but he was actually me, or more like I was him. I invented Todd back in 1974 and created his legacy.”
James took another moment to see if Tommy was being serious. No signs that he wasn’t. But he must be. Todd Matherson was born in 1953, Tommy in 1974. There was no way…….
“Before you even ask, yes I invented a time machine and used it to do what I just said.”
Author Note: This was a rewrite for “Power Outage”. Roughly the first three pages are the same as the previous, but it takes a totally different turn. So if you read the last one, then just skip ahead.
Group Discussion
The candle flickered in the wind as the slight breeze whisked through the window. The night had a severe chill to it and it was uncomfortable for Renard as he sat sipping his hot chocolate. It wasn’t his first drink of choice for the weather, but it had gotten cold quickly and it was the only things that he had in the house at the time, so he just made it. He was actually enjoying it a little too. He wasn’t sure how long it had sat at the top of the cupboard, but it had the little marshmallows in it, that made him smile when he first saw it. Now he was just sitting there.
Normally it wouldn’t have been a problem for him, but the power had gone out as well, thus the candle. Now he was just waiting for them to fix it and to get the furnace started. He was using an electric one. The gas lines didn’t run to where he lived. He had to open the window because the only candle he could find to provide light as the sun set let off some smoke, he wasn’t sure why, but it did. His old camping stove provided a place to make his beverage and to make some dinner, which was just a can of soup he found in the same place as the hot chocolate.
There was food in the fridge and freezer, but nothing that he wanted to try and cook on the little stove. Plus, he didn’t want to open the fridge and risk is thawing out. He had no idea about when the power would be back on, so he decided to play it safe. The one thing he had to be able to do though was to read, and the smoky candle provided him with the light he needed to do so. He thought that he had hit pay dirt when he dug out the old stove, but the flashlight that was with it was dead and he had no extra “D” batteries handy to replace the old ones with. SO here he was wrapped in a blanket by a slightly open window with a smoky candle sipping hot chocolate and reading a book.
It was still an hour or two before he went to bed and he kept checking the website of the power company on his cell phone to see the updates of the power line repair. There was a small storm earlier, but nothing that would have knocked out the power. When he finally got to the site he read that it was an accident caused by the storm. A car had hit the post. That was all it said. He wanted to check the news for more information, but he didn’t want to waste his battery. Right now though he was only concerned with reading the book that he had started a few days ago and getting through the night.
As Renard turned the page to start the next chapter, there was a knock at the door. It took a moment for him to realize that it was his door. He was that absorbed in the story he was reading. Another rap at the entry made it clear it was his. He carefully put the bookmark in the page he was on and set the paperback down. Then he got up and tossed the blanket on the chair he was in. He slowly made his way to the front entrance. It was dark everywhere else in the house and he didn’t want to stub a toe of anything.
The knocking kept coming at regular intervals as he worked towards it. He finally got there and peeked into the small lens that allowed him to see who was on the other side. It was dark outside too and the streetlights were not on, so at best he could only make out a shadow. It was probably just a neighbor who needed something. Renard wasn’t that familiar with many of his neighbors, but he thought himself friendly enough when he did engage with them. He opened the door to expect to see Mrs. Landon from next door, who might have lost one of her small poodles. They were yippy whenever he walked by, but they were small and cute.
It could have been Mr. Kowalchek from across the street, a retired Navy man who always made sure to raise and lower his American flag at sunrise and sunset every day. He was a stickler for that and for as long as Renard had lived here he believed the old man never missed a day doing it. He went on vacation once for a week and had asked Renard to do it. Getting a reputation of being unreliable was a bad thing in the area, besides Mrs. Kowalchek made the best cupcakes. Ever since he had helped with the flag for their vacation she had made him a batch every major holiday. That was a privilege he didn’t want to lose.
He fumbled with the deadbolt, then the lock on the door. He slowly opened it. When he was finally able to see the person on the other side it was an unfamiliar face. “Excuse me,” the still unknown face said, “the power is out and I wanted to talk to you anyway.”
Renard’s vision adjusted to the dim light and he realized it was Amy. He had just recently asked her out. They had gone on two dates so far and he really liked her. She only lived a few blocks away and worked at the corner coffee shop, which is where they met. “Oh, hi. I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight.”
“And I wasn’t expecting to come over. But after a while of sitting in my apartment I started thinking of you and decided just to risk it and come over.”
“Not an unpleasant thing to do. Come in, I just made some hot chocolate, would you like some?”
“Would I?” Amy said as she stepped into the house. Renard closed the door behind her. Then he took her hand and guided her to the living room by the candle. She sat on the couch that was across from where Renard had been sitting. He quickly found another mug and made her some cocoa.
“So what exactly were you thinking about me?” Renard smiled as he handed her the mug.
“How much fun we’ve had on our first two dates and what a great guy you are.”
“I’m pretty normal, nothing special.”
“You can say that, I can think differently. I guess we can agree to disagree, but since you have been such a good guy I thought I should be honest with you before we go any further.”
Any warm feelings Renard was having quickly erased. For Amy to go out in a power outage and end up at his dark home and then say what she just did meant it was most likely something bad. His mind started to race at what it could be. He sat down and took a sip from his mug. “It must be something major for you to walk over here tonight.”
“I think it is, but it’s up to you in the end. I might as well just say it and get it out there. I kind of already had a boyfriend when we started going out.”
It took Renard a few moments for what Amy had said to hit him fully. “You’ve been cheating on me with someone else?”
Amy looked at him with her big blue eyes, Renard’s stomach fluttered. She finally spoke, “Technically it’s hm I am cheating on with you.”
“You want to argue semantics? I think you are making my mind up for me.” Before he could continue there was another knock at the door. It took him by surprise, not Amy though.
“I may have told him to meet me here.”
Renard looked at her with a form of shock on his face. Her is this woman that he really liked not only saying he was her side piece, but that she had invited her other boyfriend over to HIS house. It was all happening kind fast and it still hadn’t all hit him yet. Amy moved away towards the front door. He heard muffled conversation. Then Amy emerged into the front walkway. “Can we sit in the dining room and talk?
Renard was still stunned, but understood what she wanted to do. Some kind of choosing game. It was kind of stupid in his opinion, using his house was stupider. If she wanted to play games it should have been at her apartment of some neutral site so that he could just leave. But instead it was here at his home. Renard figured that Amy knew hm enough to know how he would react and this made it easier to keep him from running off. He made his way to the dining room, the other two were already sitting.
Amy was on the far side, away from the door. The other guy was sitting on the side that faced the window. Renard sat at the end with his back to the entrance. Him and the other man sat there looking at Amy. Renard had seen him around a few times, mostly at the coffee shop. He was slightly taller and you could tell he liked the gym, even when he wore heavier clothes. It kind of made Renard insecure. He wasn’t a gym rat himself or really out of shape, but compared to the new guy it really didn’t matter.
The awkward silence was so thick that one could have crashed a truck into the room and totalled it. No one was saying anything. The two men kept looking at each other in confusion. The only person that seemed settled was Amy. She finally broke the silence, “ I suppose you both want to know why I wanted you here.”
“You think?” the other an said.
“Where are my manners?” Amy said, “Renard, this is Mike, Mike this is Renard.”
“Renard? What is he French?”
“No,” Renard replied, “My mother liked French literature though, I forget which one she named me after, but who cares. I want to know what the hell is going on here?”
“That makes two of us,” Mie said, now staring at Amy, “First you tell me we need to talk about us, then you say to meet you here and then at the door you say you are seeing someone else behind my back.”
“Those are the basics,” Amy said with a straight face, “It comes down to this Mike, you are a lot of fun. But that is all it is, fun. I don’t get anything from you besides that. When I need emotional support, or a shoulder to cry on you disappear or don’t’ seem to care. Renard does that for me.”
“You know I’m not that kind of guy babes. You knew that from the start. I’m sorry you think that’s worth dumping me over, but it’s not like I lied to you.”
“I never said you did, or that I’m dumping you.”
“Then why ask me over here? To be honest, a call or text saying you were leaving me would have been simpler.”
Renard felt a small twinge of pride. He always had a hard time approaching women, his friends said he was to soft. But here was someone actually picking him over the typical buff bad boy. It was kind of refreshing. A smile started to appear on his face.
“Don’t get too cocky,” Amy told him. She must have seen the smile and read it right. “I’m not saying you are my everything Renard. I get a lot from you, but Mike does provide me with excitement and experiences as well. I know you like to stay in or go to museums, as do I on occasion, but I grew up riding bikes and snowmobiles. You are what I used to call a candy ass, so in the end you don’t give me everything either.”
“Enough of the analysis,” Mike chimed in.
“I think he’s right Amy, just get to the point. Which one of us are you going to chose?” Renard added, Mike nodded in agreement.
“That’s the thing you two. I don’t want to chose one of you. I did say earlier that it was up to you.”
“Why should we? You cheated on both of us. Didn’t you think we’d both just leave you?” Mike responded. Renard was liking this guy more and more. At first he viewed him as an adversary. The longer this was going on though the more the two seemed to agree on the entire situation.
“It’s a risk I am willing to take.”
“Well, then I chose to step away,” Renard said, “I don’t like to be lied to.” This time Mike nodded in agreement with him.
“That’s the thing. I could have carried on easily. Mike works third shift and we really don’t see each other that much. I wanted to be honest with both of you. I didn’t even plan on this happening. I went out with Renard because he was a nice guy, I didn’t realize how I felt until after our second date.”
“Let me guess you love him now and not me?” Mike asked.
“I love both of you.” Silence filled the room. Neither man spoke, they just sat there kind of wide eyed. Amy was quiet as well, she was blushing so much that even the limited light from the candle in the middle of the table was enough for all to see.
Finally Renard broke the silence, “What was your optimal outcome for tonight? I mean what did you want to happen?”
Amy sat for awhile looking like she was thinking. The awkwardness was returning. Then she just blurted out, “I wanted both of you to pick me too.” As soon as the words popped out tears started to form in her eyes. Renard immediately regretted being forceful.
Amy wiped her eyes and forced back the tears. Then she continued, “I’ve watched those Romantic Comedies growing up and they always end with the perfect couple. In real life though there is never a perfect match. How many other people have each of you dated? Weren’t there the ones you left where nothing was actually wrong, but not everything was right?”
Both men were silent but looked like they were thinking. Neither of them answered her questions, but instead had a look of understanding across their faces. The fact was the the answer to both was yes for all three of them. Life rarely handed someone a soulmate. There might actually be one for everyone out there, but the logistics of them coming together seemed to elude most people.
Finally Renard spoke, “You were hoping for some kind of consensual love triangle then?” Amy nodded, still on the verge of tears. “Why are you drying then?”
“Because I had this happy ending in my mind, and when I finally said it out loud in front of you I realized how stupid it sounded.”
“The idea of it isn’t totally stupid,” Mike said. The others looked at him. “I mean the wanting everything from a partner part. I’ve never found anyone that I can honestly say was everything I wanted, so I can relate.”
“But I have what I think I want right here at this table,” Amy added, “I know my idea isn’t normal or even really possible, but if I’m going to lose you both anyway why not try?”
“I guess I am still a little confused as to how this would work? Renard said.
“I guess like it has been,but now everyone knows about each other. Though you two wouldn’t have to have anything to do with the other.”
“And what about us? I mean going off of your logic you might not be everything for us either,” Mike stated.
Amy thought a second, “I never thought about that. I was sure both of you would have left or asked me to by now. I guess it would work the same. If you find someone that you like you can see them while with me, or leave. I mean I’m not expecting us all the get a house and dog together……. yet,” the smile on her face forced the other two to smile as well.
Renard commented next, “I haven’t left yet because you decided to spring this on us in my house. I haven’t asked you to leave yet because I can understand what you are saying. Your solution though I am still thinking about.”
“I get that. You both have heard me out at least. I can’t ask anything more of you.” As soon as she finished the lights flickered as the power came back on. Amy got up from her chair and walked over to the door, she flipped the light on then stood there. “I will ask both of you to think about it a while before letting me know.” With that, she walked to the front door and left, leaving the two men sitting there.
Neither knew how long it was before one of them spoke. It was Mike who broke the silence. “We managed to find a crazy one didn’t we?”
“Do you want a beer?” Renard asked. Mike nodded. He got up and disappeared into the kitchen. When he returned he had a six pack and handed Mike one. Renard then sat down and the two men talked for a long time. Neither one knew the time when they stopped.
Amy was asleep when she was woken up by her phone ringing. Her clock read past 4am. he answered it with a sleepy “Hello.”
Renard’s voice came through the small speaker and right into her ear, “Mike and I have been talking for a while and we have something to tell you.”
Authors Note: This is the rewrite of “A Brother’s Grief”. So in class I got feedback on the last version and then rewrote it again….. revisions are for chumps. So this is the third iteration of The Attic.
Richard knocked on the door to the office. He could have just walked in, but he didn’t know what his brother, Brian was up to, and took the courteous route. He heard Brain’s voice, but was unsure of what he said. So he opened the door slowly and stepped in. Brian was sitting at his desk staring at his laptop.
“What’re you working on?” Richard asked.
“Nothing important. It is that time?”
“I told you one o’clock. I hoped you’re packed and ready to go.”
“I did that last night,” Brian said as he closed his laptop.
“Bags are in your room then?” Richard asked.
“Yeah.”
Brian had a somber look on his face. Richard knew it had been one year since Brian had lost his son. It had taken a while, but Brian had finally relented to go with Richard and his family on a vacation. Richard thought it would do him good to get out of the house and spend time away to try and get some perspective.
“I’ll have Mitchel get the bags,” Richard said as he plopped his six foot frame into a chair near the door, facing the desk, “You bringing your laptop with you?”
“No. I don’t want to even be near social media today. Shit, I don’t even want my phone with me.” Brian looked down next to his computer at his iPhone sitting there. With a quick motion he swiped it with his right hand into a drawer that his left hand opened, then closed it.
The door was ajar and then it almost hit Richard as it swung fully open. A boy walked in. “Where’s your stuff Uncle Brian?” The boy, Mitchell, was just over five foot tall, almost thirteen, was wearing shorts and a T-Shirt. His brown hair was just above his eyes, not too long, yet not so that you couldn’t pull it. It never occured to Richard how piercing Mitchell’s blue eyes were. His nephew had blue eyes as well. He was only three months older than Mitchel, well when he was alive. It hadn’t occurred to Richard until now, with his Brother and Son being together for the first time since the funeral.
“In my room,” Brian replied, “Be careful though, I haven’t exactly cleaned it lately and I don’t want you to fall or get lost in there.”
Mitchell looked at him initially with confusion and then he giggled as he exited the room and headed down the hall towards Brian’s room. “He won’t get lost, hell he spent over half his life here,” Richard said.
“I know. It’s hard to see him. He reminds me so much of Justin, especially the eyes.”
Richard nodded in agreement, “They were inseparable.”
Brian stood up, “Want to go downstairs and get some coffee?”
“Do I.”
The two of them left the dark room, Brian closed the door on the way out. They walked down the stairs, passing a multitude of pictures hanging on the walls. The pictures revealed what appeared to be happier times for Brian. There was one with him, a woman, and a young boy on a beach. The background wasn’t important, the smiles on their faces were. They were the kind of smiles that told you they didn’t care where they were as long as it was with each other.
Richard had stopped to look at this particular one. “That was only a couple of years ago? Wasn’t it?”
Brian nodded a yes.
“Mitchell really wanted to go with you, I mean we all did, but my work schedule wouldn’t let it.”
Brian was quiet for a moment before answering, “We still had a great time. It would have been great if you were there. It was the first time we didn’t go on vacation together, and right before we found out……..”
Now it was Richard’s turn to be quiet. Brian started back down the stairs then his brother spoke, “Fucking cancer.” Brian just kept going. Richard started after him.
They ended up in the kitchen. Richard sat at the breakfast bar while his brother went to his fancy coffee machine and started to work the knobs. Brian knew what the other man liked, a coffee so dark and thick that the spoon could stand up in it, but with flavor. What flavor he didn’t seem to care as long as he could chew it and call it a meal. So, he worked the dials and added various things to try and get as close to his brother’s preferences without clogging his coffee maker.
The front door slammed and footsteps got louder. Mitchell had finished dragging Brian’s bags to the car. he stood there next to his father.
“You know we’re here for you. That’s why I invited you to go with us this week to the beach. I rented a nice little cottage on the lake. The kid are going to love to see you.”
“It has been a while Uncle Brian,” Mitchell said.
Brian took a moment and looked at his nephew. “I think there are still some drinks in the fridge, help yourself.” Mitchell went and opened the door. He looked for a moment and pulled out a soda, then looked at his father who nodded.
“Dad doesn’t let us have that many at home.”
“Well we are starting our vacation early so go ahead and have one or ten,” Richard smiled at his son, who popped the can opened then found his way to the chair next to him.
“ I was thinking of going to visit their graves,” Brian said.
“You can. Hell I’ll drive you there. You can take all the time you want. But after we meet the rest at the cottage.”
“I want to visit them too,” Mitchell said as he took a sip, “I haven’t been there since the funeral.”
“I think I have to do it alone,” Brian said.
“Why? What are you trying to prove? We all loved them. I get they were your family, they were ours too. Don’t act like you’re the only one suffering here,” Richard said, adding a little volume to his voice.
“Is it that easy? You still have a wife and kids. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if they both died together. I had one leave me and just as I am coming to terms with it I lose the other. I wish it was simple, but it’s a pattern. It’s hard to move on from something when you always think what’s next. Are you going to die on me now?”
“He was more than family to me,” Mitchell said quietly. His head looked down at the counter. “He was my best friend, my brother. We did everything together.”
The two grown men stayed quiet and looked at the boy. He was on the verge of tears now. “I didn’t mean anything by it Mitchell. I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m still trying to deal with it all,” Brian almost whispered.
“This isn’t about you,” Richard said to Brian, “It affected all of us, don’t be so selfish about it.”
“Selfish? My wife and child are dead, how is my mourning being selfish?”
“Because you do it alone. Quit acting like it only affected you. I know her parents have reached out to you and you ignored them, you don’t think they want to comfort and grieve with you? But shit, you won’t even talk to me most of the time, we used to be so close.”
Brian finished meddling with his high end machine and put a cup of something hot in front of Richard. He looked down into it and smiled. This seemed to cut the tension in the room. “It should be thick enough. If it was anymore I’d have to give you a fork and knife to eat it.”
All three of them laughed. “I don’t mean to ride you so much little brother, but I have to try and look out for you. It’s just us now, and I know it’s hard, but let me at least try to take your mind off of it for a while.”
Brian sipped his cup of coffee while leaning against the counter then he pulled it away from his lips. “Don’t think I don’t appreciate what you’re trying to do. And I wish it was that easy. I’ve tried to lessen the lingering thoughts. Hell I even saw that shrink for a while, it didn’t seem to help much.”
“I’m not talking about mental professionals, just a week away trying to have some fun. We going to have some drinks, play bad party games, maybe even swim and get some fishing in. Just getting away from the house. I mean Christ, Mary passed in your bedroom and Justin in front of the house. “
Mitchell looked at both of them. “That was my fault you know.”
“What are you talking about?” Brian said.
“Dad had just gotten me the new playstation and a bunch of games. I was supposed to come over and we were gonna play them. I was so excited that I played them at home by myself. I told Justin we could do it the next day. If I was here, then he wouldn’t have been outside and he wouldn’t have been hit by that car.” Mitchell started to cry at the thought, soon the tears were streaming.
Brain moved from around the counter and hugged his nephew. “It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known it was going to happen. Don’t ever think it was your fault.” He pulled him tight. The tears were now becoming snorts as Mitchell tried to stop crying, then the snot started to come out of his nose.
Richard grabbed a paper towel and handed it to Mitchell as Brian let go of him. “You guys never did the same thing for too long,” Richard said. “For all we know you both might have been outside at that time. That’s the funny thing about thinking about what could have been, you’ll never know.”
“I still think about it,” Mitchell said, wiping his face one last time before crumpling the paper towel and tossing it toward the trash can. It his the rim and bounced out. Everyone looked at it for a moment.
“I guess you aren’t going to be playing in the NBA,” Brian said. The others snickered a minute.
Richard finished his sludge and handed the cup to Brian, “I think we should get on the road. We have to meet Amy at the cottage by six and if we are going to stop by the cemetery we should get going.” The others nodded. Richard got up and headed out to the car.
Mitchell was right behind him. They sat there for a few minutes waiting for Brian. Richard was about to get out and go see what was taking his brother, as he reached for the door handle he saw him coming out and locking the door. Brain made his way to the car and got in the passenger seat. His nephew was in the back. “Sorry, I had to grab something quick.”
“It’s alright, we aren’t in that much a hurry yet.” Richard put the automatic into drive and they were off.
The first part of their trip was quiet. No one spoke. The highway was almost empty as well. The mood in the car was somber. It was just three people sitting alone looking out the window at the passing landscape or changing terrain that mostly consisted of fields and the occasional subdivision of homes.
Richard finally slowed the car and pulled off a a rural exit about twenty miles from Brian’s house. Then took a left and pulled into the cemetery. He knew where the graves were and pulled as close as he could before stopping the car. Once he did Brian got out without saying a word.
* * * * *
They sat in the car for almost an hour. Brian had gotten out and went to the graves of his family. He wanted to be alone, so Richard and Mitchell stayed in the car. It was getting late though and they had to get going. “You stay here, I’m going to go see what’s taking him so long.”
“It’s hard for him Dad, maybe we should just wait.”
“I know. But we need to be there for him too.”
Richard got out and made his way up from the small dirt road that went around the perimeter of the graveyard. The tombstones were over a little hill that was right next to where they were parked, just putting Brian and his location out of sight. Richard saw his brother sitting there just staring. He walked up and put his hand on Brian’s shoulder.
Richard was close enough now to see a something in his brother’s hand, it was the picture he has stopped to look at on the wall earlier.
“I’m tired of feeling lost and sad all of the time. I want to feel better. No one wants to wallow in this kind of hell,” Brian said as an acknowledgement of his brother’s presence.
“Be strong, it isn’t easy to get over something like this.”
“I just can’t.”
“You’re strong, stronger than me. You’ve made it this far. I don’t think I ever could.”
Brian’s hand stayed on the picture, he turned his head towards Richard. “You were always the strong one.”
“Physically maybe, you were the runt after all.”
This comment elicited a kind of giggle snort from Brian who was in the middle of crying. “You always did whoop my ass.”
“I was the oldest, I think it’s written somewhere that I have to from time to time.” Another snort from Brian. “But you were always stronger emotionally.”
“ My Mary and Justin never had the chance to live.” He started to cry again.
“You know how hard I took Mary’s death, and I knew that was coming. Watching my brother going through that alone was hard, when you did it for Justin it was even harder.”
“A lot of us went through that alone.” Mitchell’s voice made them both turn around. He had tears forming in his eyes. “I’m sorry Uncle Brian. I had to come over. I wanted to see it.”
“That’s okay,” Brian said as he motioned for the boy to come to him. He did, and was rewarded with a long hug. Richard just stood there.
The three of them remained there, silent for a long time. The quiet was finally broken.”I never told anyone this, but Aunt Mary made the best cookies. I tell mom her’s are good, but not really.”
The two men just stood with straight faces. Then Brian started to giggle, followed by Richard. Soon all three were laughing wildly. “He is right, Amy can cook, but baking isn’t among her talents.” Now they all started to laugh more, to the point of tears.
After a few minutes they calmed down. Mitchell made his way to the tombstone that had Justin’s name on it. He noticed a small spider wandering across it. He reached out and let it go onto his hand. Then he moved over to the web that connected to the stone of his Aunt and he ushered it onto the web. Moisture had accumulated on the web and the light of the setting Sun reflected through it to create a small rainbow like a prism.
“I have been drowning in self-pity,” Brian said.
“It’s understandable,” Richard replied, “You have lost a lot.”
“Others have lost more than me, and I never took the time to realize how much you have lost as well. This whole time I could have helped you through it as much as you could have helped me.”
“Life can just be a son of a bitch.”
“Dad you said a bad word,” Mitchell notified his father as he turned from the graves.
“Sometimes they can be okay, Mitch.”
Richard’s son made his way back to him. He sat on the ground beside his uncle who still held the picture. “Aunt Mary was pretty.”
Brian smiled at him, “Yes she was. In more ways than just looks.” Brian looked at his nephew. “I think you should have this Mitchell. You and Justin were always so close, practically brothers. You need something to remember him by.” He handed the photo over.
Mitchell started to tear up again.
“There’s no need for that.”
“I’m not sad Uncle Brian, I just remembered that time after you guys got back from this trip when Justin and I put the slip and slide in the backyard and we slid into Aunt Mary’s flowers. He wore the shorts that he is in the picture. She was pissed.”
Brian smiled, “That is all we can do now is recall the good times.”
“There were a lot of them,” Richard added, “Speaking of good times we should get going or we won’t have any because Amy will be chastising us the entire time we’re there.” Brain nodded.
They all got up and looked at the tombstones one last time before turning and heading off to the car. Soon they were heading down the road to their destination.
“What were you writing when I got to the house?” Richard asked.
Brian looked at him, “It’s a journal of sorts. What I am thinking and what i would say to Justin and Mary. It’s one thing I picked up from my shrink when I was going.”
“That actually sounds kind of therapeutic.”
“I find it is.”
Mitchell popped his head up from the back seat, “You do it too?” Brain looked at him confused. “We used to message each other all the time. I still do it and pretend.”
“I forgot he had all those accounts. Would you mind if I logged in and read them sometime?”
“No. But I want to know what you said to him too.”
“The next time you’re over you can read what I wrote him,” Brian said with a smile.
Ravings of a Lunatic 