Not really feeling like doing a proper blog today, but I need to do stuff to keep up content.  So i thought I would pop in and drop some words here in the digital realm to let all two of my readers know I am still around.

I am getting engrossed in my new thing.  I guess you could call it my memoirs, or my time in the Marines.  I talk about it a bit, mostly just in passing.  But it has had a huge impact on me, the way I think, and what I write about.  So it seemed that I should get it out of my system.

I have been writing basically essays on things that have bothered me.  The crap that gives me nightmares and all that jazz.  Initially it was a therapeutic technique recommended by my counselor.  It was good stuff.  Even though I knew what was wrong and the very events that aided in that, explaining it as compared to taking the time to think about it as you write are two vastly different things.

It was just generic at first.  Then the more I did it, it evolved into more of a style.  Well after a while I decided to see how much I had actually done.  I printed it all off.  There was like 50 pages of stuff.  Wow, I thought  I could almost do a book with this.  A lot of it was disjointed and just focused on specific things.  If I added the not serious stuff and added connective material i might actually be able to to a 150ish page book.

After revising the first twenty or so pages, I did manage to put it in some kind of chronological order, and filling in some gaps I am up to about 90 pages now.  I still have a lot to write about as well, good and bad.

I will say right away that it’s nothing as riveting as Lone Survivor or that crap.  Its just a story, mine, but still just a story.  I do rant on it though.  I find it helps me settle my mind, just like most writing does.  The main thing is that trying to get others to understand what goes on in a person’s mind can be vastly different than they way they present themselves.

The main difference with combat vets is that their minds are far darker and more confusing.  With no frame of reference most people just blow off when they say they have conflicts in their minds.  So my tale is not so much to tell some crappy heroic tale, its more to give people a poor facsimile of an idea of what we go through.  I am hoping the use of words on paper can paint a better picture that just talking about it.

The actual conflicts of the mind vary from person to person.  Mine  are a whole other thing, I have a whole book pegged for those that I’ve started.  It’s going to be dark as shit.

I should have had another chapter from Emporium pop up on Royal Road today, delayed posting, WOOT!!!! SO for a bit of light fare head over there and check it out.