Existential Crisis

EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

One of the things about being new to a unit, and a retread, and a lateral mover is that you already had three strikes going in.  So each one needs a word I think before we move forward with this one.  Being new?  Nuff said.  A retread means you got out and came back in, which was true in my case.  The lateral move was not my choice initially.  When I came back into the Marines Corps they said they had openings for infantry.  I was an Admin clerk.  So a step up  in some cases.

That was one of the weird things about the Marines I never got, “the Needs of the Marine Corps” was always a thing.  So when I first went in I didn’t exactly pick my job, instead I was offered a “group” of jobs that included Legal services, air field services, and administration.  I was thinking legal clerk or air traffic controller would be tight.  After taking my ASVAB, Armed Forces Vocational Aptitude Battery, and seeing my scores I had high hopes.  After boot camp when I was told what my job would be.  Needless to say I was perplexed, mainly because the job I was given was based on a score from my test that was also my lowest.

Needs of the Corps my ass, I bring this up because when I went back in I wanted to be an intelligence analyst.  They had made me retake the ASVAB, which I got a perfect score on, and I already had a Top Secret Clearance, so I thought it was a no brainer.  Nope.  I was offered infantry, and only infantry.  So I did what any guy who had a wife and two kids to support would to, I took it.  I later found out they still had over forty openings in the job I wanted.  I can say going infantry was good for me, but at the same time it’s a matter of principle about not getting what I wanted and what they had.

The silver lining was I was offered 0352, anti-armor assaultman.  We shoot big ass missiles at tanks, so that was cool.  The other bonus was that it wasn’t a job that was in a line company.  You know the rifleman you think of when you hear infantry?  Well a Marine Battalion had three companies full of those.  We call them crunchies because that is the sound they make when they get run over by tanks and other big vehicles.  My job was mobile, we were in the weapons company.  Where if you can’t truck it, fuck it.  We put our missile launchers on top of HUMVEEs and drove around being supported by machine gunners.  Plus you needed a Secret clearance.

We were the “smart” grunts.  The ASVAB had a high score of 99.  You only needed a 33 to be a grunt, to be a TOW gunner (our fancy title based on the weapons system we shot) you needed at least a 50, a driver’s license, and not be color blind in addition to the clearance or ability to get one.  The additional down side for me was that even as a Sergeant they made me go through the entry level training with all the boot camp fresh Privates.  That was an experience.  The class was also tougher than I thought it would be, mostly because they crammed so much into three weeks.

The worst was the armor identification.  We had to know over 50 different vehicles not only by their picture, but also heat signature, because our weapon had a cool thermal site that was like a really bad Virtual Boy.  The same colors too, but blurrier.  It was a hoot though.  This was a case where rank did have its privileges.  I mean I basically outranked most of my instructors, but since I was a student they could tell me what to do.  It didn’t much matter, I got to eat with the regular Marines during chow and when the boots (new Marines) were getting thrashed I got to sit back and chill.  I also got to keep my cell phone.

When I graduated I did have some words with an instructor or two that were kind of pricks when I was a student.  Once that ended though I got to have my own fun.  Ahh, the uber macho systems that we have.  They can be stress relieving if you know what to do.  Sorry, I got side tracked there, it does have relevance to the main story, which we will now get back too.

I had gone through a lot of shenanigans so far.  Well, I thought after my new job training I could get back to the business of being a Marine.  I wasn’t in bad company, they were so hard up for TOW gunners that I think we had about seven lateral movers in my unit.  So the shit I got for being one didn’t last long once all the others started to show up.  What I did do though, was show my prowess for learning and adapting.  The addition of already having a combat deployment under my belt didn’t hurt either.

Soon I found myself in charge of a team.  Each platoon in the company had six trucks, made up of two three truck teams.  I was moving up the food chain.  There was that one guy though, isn’t there always?  Gunny Vice, we’ll call him.  He was always riding my ass.  Most of us saw him as a giant douche, but I got the brunt of his focus.  Not a good place to be.  I never did find out why, I always assumed he saw me as a dirty retread and thought I lacked the skills to lead Marines.

That all seemed to change though in the Summer of 2005.  We were in California at 29 Stumps, the Marine base where all the fun desert training took place.  It was during a training evolution that simulated IEDs and an ambush that my bosses in the platoon were hit and “killed”, I had to take charge.  At the end of it the Gunny came up to me and said I did a fine job.  That was a good day.  Of course, if something didn’t happen later I wouldn’t even be mentioning this.  On to that part.

We get back to North Carolina and are getting ready to deploy to Fallujah, Iraq for the first time.  Remember early when I said if someone was asked to give up bodies they usually went for who they saw as not their best?  Well, three weeks before we are set to deploy we get a new guy.  He was a reservist that had volunteered to go active for a deployment.  He was active duty and was in the invasion and was also a TOW gunner and a Sergeant.  Well he joined our platoon.  A couple of days later Gunny Vice told me I had been reassigned to Headquarters Company and that the new guy was taking my place.  I guess I didn’t impress him that much in training.

The new guy Sgt Buck, was a nice guy and had actual combat experience.  I don’t knock him, but I was and in some ways still am butthurt.  I had busted my ass to prove myself and earn my position.  Now I was being relegated to possible shit duties, like Camp Guard, the shittiest assignment that an infantry Marine can get while on a deployment.  Luckily? I didn’t.  Instead I got to man an Entry Control Point (ECP).  So we got to check papers and cargos of commercial vehicles going into the city.  Talk about a waste of training.

This is where the sad part comes though.  About two or three months into out stint in the sunny deserts of the ass crack of the world, I find out that Sgt Buck had died from shrapnel caused by an IED that his truck hit.  At that time and to this day I still wonder if that would have been me had I not been sent to checkpoint duty.  It’s one of those things that stick in your mind long after the events happened.  The thing was, it didn’t really hit me until about a week after words when I finally got to talk to the guys in my former platoon.

It was sad that he had passed, and it still kicks me in the gut, but knowing that the person that took your spot may have taken something you would have gotten kind of makes you rethink everything.  Thus my existential crisis.  All the what if’s and should have been’s linger in the back of my mind.  Also, where would he be today if he didn’t make the choice to come back?  All the little choices that were made for the events to unfold as they did just make me think, and not nice thoughts.

What security?

One thing about working in the security field, especially after 9/11, was that everyone was paranoid.  And they had a right to be, we were just attacked and a lot of people died.  That also meant that security measures all over the country were being increased.  In my case that meant a lot of additional training.  I attended a lot of courses and my responsibilities went from a few to a fuck ton.

This covered personal security, physical, communication, information, operational, and a lot of other keywords.  Training is one thing though, using it in the states and then during the invasion meant I had a lot of knowledge and practical experience when it came to matters of staying safe.  One would think that this kind of expertise would be useful to a Marine or his superiors when looking at check points.

Where are our weak spots?  Where could we be hit by the enemy?  Which of our policies can be improved to ensure more safety?  Questions like these always seemed like they would be a constant factor in a hostile environment where people will just walk up to you and blow themselves up.  Giving them fewer opportunities to do so was a good idea.  Apparently not for everyone.

Since I was passed off to Headquarters Company I always assumed they saw me as the weaker link.  Just look back to the reference I made to being the one picked when asked for bodies.  I can’t say I blame them in this regard, it was SOP.  That being said I was more untested so passing me off at face value might have been the best thing in my previous company’s eyes.  In any case I was now working for people who ran the two main checkpoints for Fallujah.  One was for regular traffic the other was for commercial traffic.

I had the fun task of running the Commercial one.  I guess it was cool in the fact that I was running it.  Even though I was sent over the guy I worked for saw I wasn’t a total moron and basically gave me my own little command.  I had six Marines and about a dozen Iraqi Army Soldiers (IA).  So a good amount of bodies.  I had taken an Arabic course so it kind of made sense too.  I think I was the only guy out of the forty Marines working the check points that had taken it.  We had a translator too, but only one and he was oat the main post.

Anyway, we were split into two shifts.  Each shift had about twenty Marines, when they took over the main post, six would be sent to the smaller checkpoint, then our day long shifts would start.  We worked day on, day off.  Not too bad a gig really, aside from the fact people in the area wanted us dead.

There was a weird way that all of this was set up though.  It kind made of sense, but not really.  This is the point where it can get kind of boring, but the setup has to be clear.  Entry Control Point – 1 (ECP1) was the main entry into the city for all regular traffic.  It was right at the meeting point of two major highways.  One road ran straight through the city, we called it Fran.  We had names for all the roads to make it easier than trying to learn all the Arabic names.  Well, as Fran entered the city it ran under a bridge that had the main highway going over it.

The on ramp to that highway off of Fran started right before the checkpoint and went up to merge with it.  The couple of buildings that made up the checkpoint were in the space between Fran and the onramp, which is again elevated as it goes up to meet the highway.  We had eight foot concrete barriers making a wall around the ECP, but the height of the on ramp made it so even going on it in a sedan, you could look down inside of our area.

It might seem obvious from the description what could go wrong here, but Marines in general are not known for shall we say their intellectual prowess.  To be fair when we first got there in September of 2005 it wasn’t that big an issue, because the on ramp was closed.  Then someone had the bright idea of opening it.  Something about convenience for the locals.  The command had met with local representatives and it had been brought up, at least was my understanding.

I personally understood their point, but being a former security guy I raised concerns about the problems that opening that ramp would present.  Simple things like a car load of insurgents could drive slow and spray us with small arms fire, or the worst case of stopping there with a bomb.  I brought this to the attention of the two Gunnery Sergeants, one ran each shift.  They of course saw my concerns and agreed with me, because it seems that enlisted Marines in general can see common sense.

Now we start running into the problems and the start of the problems I would have with authority in the future.  It’s not like a lowly enlisted Marine can get anything done on their own, they have to bow down to the all might officers.  In our case our Company Commander.  We called him Captain America, because he acted like he was.  I can’t for the life of me remember his real name, but he was kind of an ass out for personal glory.  If that came at the expense of those under his command, so be it. The kind of Officer that would have been shot by his own men in Vietnam for being a liability.

That is one thing about an unconventional war like we were in, the opportunities for “friendly fire” accidents or blaming the enemy were far and few between.  When they happened it was usually sudden and you didn’t have time to set anything up.  I’m not advocating for anyone to be taken out, I’m just saying that some tales I have heard from Vietnam vets would have made this guy a prime target for a trip home.

The concerns were brought to him and dismissed off hand, I am talking about at the moment they were pointed out to him.  There were other occasions on which we told him again, each time he said no more harshly.  At one point he did say it would be a hassle to get the Engineers out there to do anything, which was bullshit as will be pointed out later.  I was even personally threatened with punishment when I approached him on the subject, so I dropped it, because that is what good Marines do.  I still regret it to this day, and I think he is still an asshole.

Shit, one time we were driving the perimeter of the city on the roads we used to take to our posts.  He couldn’t get a good radio signal so he stopped our little three truck patrol, got out of his truck and got on top with his portable radio trying to get comms.  I was praying the whole time he would get taken out.  We had sniper activity in the area and had already lost two Marines too it.  First off, stopping three vehicles on the edge of the city was stupid, we were in the old Humvees, no armor, no mounted guns.  Secondly what he was just checking signal, it’s not like he had anything important to call back about.

This was the kind of asshole we worked for, the kind that seemed oblivious at to where he was and what we were out there to do.  I still shake my head at how worthless this guy was, he came out to the checkpoints maybe once every other week, so he had no idea what we were even doing out there.  I guess the Marines will give any asshat with a college degree a commission.

 

The Attic

The Attic

The flame flickered in the small breeze that blew through the open window.  He looked up from the little light that was given off by the small candle.  It waned as the breeze made it shimmer.  When it started to settle his head went back down and the began to scribble on the parchment with his quill.  The letter was important, the most urgent thing he had ever written in his life.  The speed at which he was moving the ink filled device was starting to make his wrist hurt.  His mind was moving faster than his hand could keep up

He went to place his instrument into the well that held the vital liquid which enabled him to pass his message along to those that could help him.  It was at this point that he saw it was low.  There was only a small amount left.  It was barely enough to satisfy his quill one last time.  He quickly pulled it out and continued to write more words.  By this time his brain had compose the next page or two.  He was falling further and further behind, this was started to make him believe that he would never finish the words let alone sending it off.

His quill ran dry again.  A small smudge was where it was when the valuable liquid ran out in mid-word.  He went to draw of it, but there was none, he had forgotten that he was out.  In almost anger he tossed the item on the desk.  Now he was opening the drawers looking for more ink.  He always had extra somewhere.  But each time he would have to search, because he would forget where it was.  This was not normal for him because he was usually good with details.  His memory was sponge like, at least he thought so.  Others had told him as well.

His usual business was numbers, that might have made the difference.  It didn’t matter at this time.  He was in such a frantic mode that it wouldn’t have mattered.  He was tearing through drawers and cabinets.  Soon the room was a mess.  Then he stopped.  He had found what he was looking for.  The last vial of ink.  He pulled it down from where he found it and went back to the desk.  He managed to get the top off of it and then went to his inkwell.  He was carefully attempting to pour ink into its new home.

Then it happened.  The door to the office, that had been closed, locked, and barricaded by several pieces of furniture shook from a massive force that hit it on the other side.  It was so much that the dead bolt almost snapped from its insertion point.  The writer just stood there and stared at the door.  He was shaking.  Now the ink from the container was finding its way onto the desk.  He recovered and looked down.  He recovered and managed to save some of it.

Then he realized the real problem.  His letter was now one big blotch.  Worse all the paper that he has left was underneath that.  It was now all soaked in ink.  Even if he wanted to rewrite the letter he now had nothing to compose on.  Instead he ran to the window and looked out. The wind was picking up and the fist few drops of a storm were coming down.  A far-off lightning strike lit up the field beyond his yard for just a moment.  But it was enough for him to see down to the ground, which he was three stories above.

The split-second flash also revealed another one of the things.  One was already inside and was slamming into the door of his study.  There were more though, there always was.  They had been coming to his home and invading it for some time now.  He still was unsure of what they were or what they wanted.  His guess was to get at him, at least that is how it was portrayed in their intensity of trying to get in.  He did his best to stave them off.

At first they were a bit timid, or at least seemed that way, since their initial incursions were only into the yard and the house.  He thought they were just building up courage, then his thoughts on them shifted and it seemed more like they were probing.  Once they knew a certain thing they became more emboldened.  Like they figured out the house was easy to get into after their third appearance. Then it was a case of exploring the first floor over the course of the next two visits.  The second floor came next, and finally the third.  The only place left as the attic, and he refused to go there.  So, if they did not get him this time, he was sure the next visit would be the final confrontation.

One thing that did confuse him was that there never seemed to be more than two in the house at any given time.  When he would look outside or hear certain things he was sure there were at least four, if not more.  If they had all entered at the same time, especially from the start, they would have surely gotten him month’s ago.  They did not though.  It might just be as simple as those that stayed outside were there to make sure that he stayed inside.

He should have tried to reach out for help a long time ago, but he never saw the need.  He had been able to simple section off a part of his home and hold out for the night each time before.  He had even bought a gun to protect himself.  Earlier this night though saw his concerns turn desperate after one tried to get into his bed chamber.  He blasted the door while it was being struck.  The thing kept going as if the shot did nothing.  Two more shots followed and had the same effect.

That was when he went into his study and barricaded the door and started the letter.  His goal was just to make it through the night, which he was sure he could, but the next monthly visit would be his last.  All he could now is dwell on the past and try to wait it out.  The clock on the wall said that he only had two more hours to go.  The banging on the door had subsided for now.  So all he could do is wait.

This would be the eleventh visit from these monsters.  It seemed ironic that they would get him on the twelfth.  It would be a year to the day in which it happened.  The loss of his most precious belonging.  His son.  It was a tragic day.  The boy was only five when it happened. The man remembered the day fairly well.  They had breakfast in the dining room.  His cook had made the boys favorite.  They both laughed at the jokes his son made while eating his eggs.  Then he went off to play.  The man had business to conduct.  The next time he saw his son would be the turning point.

It was at this point that he realized the error he made.  Next month would be the twelfth visit of his persecutors, but tonight was in fact the year anniversary of his son’s death.  They first appeared a month after his passing.  With this correction in his mind he fell into a further despair, though it now had nothing to do with his wellbeing.  It was remembering his boy.  The reason he had for living.  His mother was the love of his life, but she passed bringing the child into the world.  He vowed to raise the baby in her honor and make him the best person that one could be.

He thought he was doing that before the day he died.

He placed little restrictions on the child except when it was time to be with the tutors.  A year ago had been one of his free days and he set about exploring the large estate that he lived in.  He wandered off that morning while the servants went about their chores and the man conducted his business.  When the time came for dinner and he had not seen his boy for most of the day he set about looking for him.  It was the gardener who found him.

It was the attic.  To this day the man still had no idea how the small child got up there.  The stairs were the kind that you had to pull down from the ceiling to get at.  He was too small and too weak to do such a thing himself.  Besides the fat he had no idea where the pole was that allowed even a fully-grown person to get to them.  In any case, he had gotten up there.  A crypt among the living.  All of his mother’s things had been placed there with other older and forgotten things.

Her things were not forgotten.  The man would occasionally go up there and be among them to remember her.  What his son found up there he still did not know.  It might have simply been a new place to explore and discover to the young boy.  The result was he would never come down again.  When they found him, he had a large bruise on his head.  The conclusion was that he fell or tripped and hit his head on one of the cross beams hard.  No one was sure if that is what killed him or if it was slow bleeding inside when no help was given.  In either case it caused the man grief.  One more than the other.

The months that followed saw him grieve more and more.  He eventually dismissed the entire staff.  No one would confess to helping his son get into the attic, so he let them all go.  He had tried to replace some of them, but word had gotten out that his once happy home was now a place of despair.  No one wanted to be in the company of someone in a constant state of mourning.  He soon found he could do most of what needed to be done on his own.  He started to take his own deliveries almost a month after his son’s death.

It was during dinner when he first heard the things.  He spent the first night looking out of various windows trying to see what was trying to get in.  He was not too worried though at first.  He thought is was just strays.  It wasn’t until they made it into the house that he knew these were not normal animals just looking for food, at least not the regular kind.  They wanted him.  It wasn’t normal.

Of course, he had tried to reach out to the local authorities.  But his initial try was met with funny looks, as if he was being ignored.  They obviously did not believe him.  He even reached out to the local clergy.  His wife had been devout in her beliefs.  After her passing though he stopped attending. When he went to the church the Father just stared at him blankly as he tried to tell him about what he thought might be demons sent to right the wrong he had committed to his boy.

The letter he had tried to write on this night was to be sent to an old friend who could find and send the best hunters.  The man knew his story did not have to be believed by people that he paid to hunt these things and money he had plenty of.  They would gladly accept his coin, even if in folly.  It was just a job to them.  He should have thought of it sooner.  Now the local town folk thought him insane in addition to being sad.

All of this thinking was interrupted when the bashing at the door started again.  It shook the man from his thoughts.  He quickly stood when the third crash was followed by the distinct sound of the metal bolt snapping.  The door was opened slightly now, only a crack, but it was a start.  All of the debris he had placed in front of the door might hold for a few more of the creature’s attempts to get in.  Where would he go then?

The window was a choice, but he couldn’t go down.  More of those things would get him if he did.  He could only go up.  To the attic.  Is that where they have been trying to drive him this whole time?  Could them wanting to devour him for some sin not be the truth?  It didn’t matter he had to think and think fast.  After two more loud bangs to the door he decided to go up.  To the window he went.  The two adjoining panes of glass swung open.  The slow rain from earlier was now a steady stream, soon to become a downpour.

He turned his back to the window and stood on his desk chair he had brought over.  Then he reached up and out of the window.  He felt the lip of the roof and grabbed.  With all of his strength he pulled himself out and up.  Then he swung his right leg up and it landed on the roof.  With two firm positions on the roof, he slowly pulled the rest of himself up.  He was careful since it was wet.  He didn’t want to get ahead of himself and fall to his death.  Just as he finished getting his left leg up on the roof he heard the pile of items in the study scatter across the floor.  The thing had gotten in.

He clawed his way up the tiled roof a way.  One of the windows to the attic was close.  Once he reached it he tried to open it.  It was locked.  He peered in to see if the lock was firm of if there might be a small gap he could jimmy.  As his eyes looked in a flash of lightning from the other side of the house illuminated the entirety of the attic.  It was only for moment, in that time though he could swear that he saw someone in there.  If might also be a figment of his imagination.  It might also be someone who controlled the beasts.  This might be the reason or person that was causing his grief.

The waiting was getting to him now and the storm had decided to become worse.  He stood, using the window as a brace and he kicked out the glass in the top corner.  Then he reached through and released the lock.  The window slid up easily and he crouched as he went in.  It was time to end the charade and confront anyone here.  At least the things couldn’t get up here, or so he thought.  In the back of his mind he actually didn’t know if they were capable or not since he had never seen one.

He stood to his full height as he entered the attic.  The rush of ill feeling came over him as he was back in the place where he had found his son a year ago.  The steps into the darkness were small at first.  Then a little longer.  Soon another flash of lightning lit up the far side, and this time he did see someone there.  He picked up his pace and went straight for the man.  He called out to him, no answer.  Then he was on top of him.  He stretched his arms out at the object.

He expected some kind of resistance.  There was none.  Instead of falling though the body swung as if holding onto something.  Then the man froze in his tracks.  Had one of his former servants snuck into his attic and hung themselves?  Was it one last act of defiance?  Could this have been the one that helped his son get into the attic and as a final act of contrition? He wasn’t sure.  Now he reached out and spun the corpse around to get a look at the face.  Just as if was looking at him, or what could pass for looking a bolt of lightning hit very close to the house.

There was enough light to see the truth.  He stopped.  He let go of the body.  Then he shouted at the top of his lungs and fell to his knees.  He had looked into his own eyes, if there had been any there.  The gaunt shallow holes of where they had been was familiar enough to him to know who the victim at the end of the rope was.   He covered his face with his hands and he started to cry.  Then the truth came back to him as did the memories.

After the death of his son he had fallen into a deep depression.  He had been on the verge of it since losing his wife, but his devotion to the boy had staved it off.  When he was gone it came on with a vengeance.  When the staff had left, and he found himself alone shortly after the burial of his beloved progeny, he found himself in the attic on many occasions.  The last time he was up here he had found some rope.  He was to far gone at this point.  What came down from the attic after the act was not the full man that had entered, but a mere shadow.

It took several moments for him to realize that the light that had exposed his own corpse to him had not subsided.  His hands slowly came away from his face when he heard a voice.  It was telling him that he had suffered long enough.  It was time to move on.  Fate had been trying to get him too for many months now, but the man had not heeded the signs or the messengers.  He had even blocked the fact that he was not of this world anymore.

When he looked towards the light he saw who had spoken.  A small frame and a familiar face stood there smiling at him just inside the light.  A little arm raised, and a small hand opened ready to take his, if he wanted.  His tears stopped, and he stood.  He slowly walked to the light making sure that what he saw was real.  Then he reached out and took the small hand.  The touch confirmed it.  He smiled and said he missed the small person.  Then the other small hand waved him into the light.  He followed.  Soon both of them were on the other side.  The light slowly faded.     When it was completely gone the old house fell silent.  Anything that had been there to harm or usher anything else faded too.

How long has it been?

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I really like that picture.  And it has been awhile.  I had midterms in school, then did some stuff like finalizing a divorce and getting an internship for my last semester.  It just kind of all builds up and before you know it *POOF* all your time is gone. One thing I have been thinking about is instead of putting all of my writing all on Royal Road I will just put my longer stuff up over there in segments.

I am going to start putting the shorter stuff up here, short stories and essays.  Since I am doing a bunch for school, why not do something with it.  Worst case, all my crap is localized.  So I am gonna start doing categories so its easier to find all the punishment you want.

I figure if I ever get around to polishing some of the stuff I might be in the ball park of having enough for a collection or something.  We do a lot of free writing in classes, why waste it all?  I mean I waste my time writing this blog for all two of you, so a bit more won’t hurt I guess.

So I’m going to toss a couple more chapters of Emporium up on Royal Road to make up for lost time and an essay and short story here.  The latter won’t be regular things, just when I have them done, not necessarily polished though.  I also will have to go through and categorize everything as well.  So fun back end stuff as well…….

Life is always a hoot when you have things going on that you have no control over, it might even make for a story……someday.

I like being late to the Game!!!

 

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Late again, I think this is going to be a trend at least for a while.  But I have faith that all two of my readers will understand about the delay in posting.  With taking 18 credits in school I get kind of swamped and have barely enough time for all of the homework, let alone my own writing and a blog on top of that.  But I have forgone my writing this time to just put something out for all of you.

Of course that isn’t entirely true, I am writing for school and a lot of it, especially the class prompts we get to spend a whole 10-15 minutes on might pan out to something more in the future.  So at the least they are good for the creative juices.  I have a couple of things that I have been contemplating that might make good tales later on when I have the time to actually sit down and flesh them out.

With that being said November is also creeping up on me and that means National Write a Novel month.  This is where I got my start almost two years ago, when I went on a spree I haven’t nearly even come close to. Over 150,000 words in 29 days and I got a trilogy out of it.

I just wrote 2 essays in a class while there, cause I didn’t read the instructions.  Now I have an extra thing for a thing I have yet to determine…….  Weird how just over two years ago I thought writing was so hard, I had flashbacks to when I was in high school and I fought to come up with words.  Now it is so easy, and I love it.  I am able to type fast and write fast and I have no idea what wrtier’s block even is.

My biggest worry is that I will never have enough time to write everything that I want.  I have 7 done so far, like 6 others in various stages and more ideas than I can shake a stick at.  I am hoping that the block never comes, but if it does I also hope to have enough on the back burner to get through it.

Well that is enough rambling for me today.  I have tossed up another chapter over on Royal Road (link at the top) to the Emporium draft, so go read that and have a nice day.

Stick of Butter.

So I don’t have a lot of time to day, but I thought I would toss out a simple little thing that I wrote in class recently.  It was just about trying to save someone.  But here it is and it a bit fun.

David just stood there.  He wasn’t sure what he should do, that wasn’t his first concern though.  The fact he had no idea what he was seeing was at the forefront of his mind.  You can’t react if you don’t understand the nature of the peril you’re in, or in this case the peril that Joe was in.  It was award to even see.  The overall absurdity of it would lend most to let out a laugh or a giggle.  Not for David though.  The magnitude of the sight was lost on him, but he knew enough to realize that it was a matter of life or death.  That is what prevented him from seeing any humor in what his eyes were revealing.

The first thing he had to do was to get his head around the events that were unfolding.  At that point he might be able to concoct some way to help his friend.  Until then though all he could do was stand there and stare, like a fascinated child at some majestic creature held in captivity in some zoo.  Like that child David saw the awe in a similar manner but failed to understand the subtleties, like that the animal was there against its will or that it would never be free again.

Where it might take a child many years to learn the truths of a zoo, David lacked the time.  He had to come to terms with what was happening or learn to come to terms with losing his friend.  He knew which he wanted to do and was trying to, desperately.  Joe was hanging on in the only way he could, that part was a minor relief to David as he tried to devise an understanding.  The problem was that the hanging on would not last much longer and that added pressure to David, who normally did not do good under pressure.

He thought all hope was lost as he saw Joe start to faulter, but then it hit him like a hammer.  Like a light he was into the situation as if he belonged there.  As he made his way through and to Joe he grabbed a stick of butter off of the closest shelf, and them a screwdriver.  When he got as close to Joe as he could he used the items in the only way that he could see working.

Just as Joe was about to lose his place, David grabbed him and pulled him back quickly.  Soon they were safe and they watched as the situation crumbled that had once meant death for possibly both of them.