Rewrites

I had a day off (kind of) from school and all that and I decided to redo Remnant.  You see when I put it up I added a couple of things, because I paid a guy to edit it and in hindsight cheaper is not only not better but really subpar…….

More of a mixed bag really, he had some suggestions that were good and some that weren’t.  I added 4 chapters to the book, two helped it, two didn’t.  But I had put off altering what I had put up for a LONG time.  I decided to leave the two that helped (DUH).  Those were more about character development and grabbing the readers attention.

The other two were about world building, but they were just pure exposition dumps.  A reader said it was too much detail.  Good world building is spreading it out or doing it in an indirect way.  Unless the reader REALLY needs to know it, take your time.  So I cut those and the prologue.  In all the book is 27 pages shorter……. wow.

Thing is all of the information in those missing pages are covered later or in books 2 and 3.  If I ever get them out then you will see.  Point is, no matter how good a writer’s fake world is, what good is it really if no one wants to read about it?  You have to have characters worth following into that world.  So I am going with that.

I just get into a mood when I have to do it all at once.  I guess it aligns with all the rewriting I am doing for school of the carious essays and short stories…..  Which I will toss up here eventually or maybe just put in a book form, cause why not.  Not like I am ever going to get a real book deal.

Weird thoughts and Stuff!

I was taking my kid to school today and we started talking about Rick and Morty.  I said I should write something about Amish Cyborg.

“He tried to stop the horses, but they jolted.  He was thrown to the ground.  The heavy load in the wagon made it worse when the front and back tire ran over him.”

“The ambulance arrived and there was nothing they could do except take him to await his death.”

“All hope was lost on him, except from one renegade surgeon who declared I WILL NOT LET THIS MAN DIE!!  Hours later Amish Cyborg was born.”

Now a man, conflicted by what he believes and what he has become must come to terms with his new life and a community that cannot accept him.

This is the story of how he overcame all obstacles and how a people grew to love him.

Yeah I get some weird thought.

Another one that came to mind, since it is warming up where I live and all the snow is kinda melting.   Isn’t rain melting snow a kind of environmental cannibalism?

I know it isn’t, but it’s funny to think of it that way.

I haven’t been around a while, even when i thought I was going to be able to just take a day or so a month and put a bunch of crap up for later posting, but alas life gets kind of hectic and here I am.  I am planning to do a couple of things for later, but no guarantees.  Its right after midterms yet before the true push of all the end of semester assignments.  The good news being this is my last one, so there we go.  I should have time to amuse all three of you in a month or so.

This one is short and humorous………  so enjoy.

What the Hell, ya only live once!!!

I was tinkering with some of my other writing and decided to wrap up one I had been working on for a while……

The Fictitious Memoirs of a Jarhead in the Suck.

The is my memoir from when i was in the Marines.  Its short, just over 200 pages.  I finished it last summer and it’s been sitting around doing nothing for a while.  I got off my ass and finally scanned all the stuff I needed to put in it.  It just seemed kind of like a long ass whine fest without the “proof”, so I added it all in.

There’s no epic battle, or real lessons learned.  Just the stuff that happened (mostly routine) over a 15 year career and all that.  Sure there is a couple of exciting parts, but mostly just the changes to character over a decade and a half and all the people along the way.  It’s not going to win anything or get me that new house.  But It was cathartic in its creation.

Mostly, at least from what I have gathered from those that read it, it is something to show the average veteran that they aren’t alone in all the shit they have gone through, no matter how minor.  Most of the stuff that is out there about vets has to do with valor, important battles, all that epic good for TV shit.  But there are at least 100 of average people for each of those.  They have stories too, I just decided to write mine.

A link will appear at the top of my main page to the Amazon page when it finally pops up, until then just keep an eye out for it (if you care) and we’ll go from there.  It’s just one of those personal things.

On an odd note, I might have enough drivel for a short story collection soon…….  I mean once the semesters over and I graduate I should have a load of crap to toss together, assuming I get a B or better on it.  I won’t subject anyone to my “average” stuff.  or I just might submit is all over the web and freak out people for no reason.

A non-fiction one could follow.  That will be a lot sadder than my fiction.  I am still on track to finish ZERO books this year…….  I only need to do 2 to keep my 3 a year average up, but that was because I did 4ish last year…….  I can’t count either.

Emporium of Awesome – Two

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CHAPTER TWO – PROOF

James just sat there with a puzzled look on his face for several moments before he spoke.  “Dude, I know losing your idol must be hard, but this is borderline a sick joke.”

“If it wasn’t true I wouldn’t say anything like this.”

“I mean even if it is true, I am sure you know what I am going to ask next.”

“You are going to want me to prove it of course.”

“It’s like you are a mind reader.”

“Okay, I guess I could do a little magic.”  Tommy moved to the back of the room near a window.  “I am going to stand here for a few minutes, then I will come through the door and tell you hi.”  James sat there. And sat. He knew the joke was up.

James turned to Tommy.  “Well you almost had me there for a ……..”

“Hi.”  James turned to the door and saw Tommy standing there.  Wearing the same clothes. He turned back to the corner and saw Tommy there as well.  He kept going back and forth between the two Tommys until he almost had whiplash. After a few minutes the new Tommy looked at the real Tommy and nodded.  Then he left the room.

“Well I have to go now,” Tommy said.

“Where?” James asked.

“Where do you think?  I have to go back in time so I can walk into the room and say hi.  The Tommy over there will take my place here.”

“But what about you.”

“We have started a loop.  I’ve only done this once before.  He is me, just from the future.”

“From when?”

“I would say about 5 minutes from now.  That is about how long it will take for me to get back to when he got here.”

“So he becomes you then?”

“He is me, try to keep up.  We have watched enough time travel shows to have a basic understanding of how this works.  But I have to go now.” Tommy left the room. After a couple of minutes he came back. “Well he’s off.”

“Who?”

“Past me.  He went back to say hi to you.  I am here though. The point is though that I had to prove to you that I actually had a time machine.”

“And now I believe you. But I can’t stop thinking that this you isn’t my you.”

“Yeah, it can get confusing.  Temporal mechanics and all. Needless to say I invented the damn thing and from time to time it still throws me for a curb.”

“Well since it is apparent that you have invented a time machine then why…….”

“Just stop there.  I will try to get a couple of the disclaimers out of the way.  I assume the first is why haven’t I stopped all the big things in the past.”  James nodded as he said this. “Contrary to popular belief there is only so much that one person can do, even with the knowledge of the past.  Second, how do you know I haven’t stopped the worst things? I mean if I had changed anything, you wouldn’t know about it, only I would.”

“That is a good point, so did you change anything like that?”

“Um, no.  The first major problem is that I can’t go back farther than I existed.  If I did I would cease to exist from that point on. It is weird, I don’t know why, it just is.”

“How did…..”

“I figure that out?  Sure, valid point. I tried various things.  Eggs, bugs, even a puppy. I would send them back before they were conceived.  All I got was a pile of slop. Sounds kind of vile, in the case of the puppy, but I did what I had to do to make sure I wasn’t gonna end up the same way.  So anything prior to 1974 is off limits to me.”

“There are plenty of things that you might have been able to stop though.”

“Yes sir, and like I said earlier, this wasn’t my first loop with two of me.  I actually did go back and stop an event. When I returned to the current time I found out things were far worse.  Then I had to go back and tell myself not to change it. It led to me deciding to stick to my original plans.”

“Which were?”

“Keeping a low profile and doing what I had to and then getting out.  That isn’t to say that I didn’t do any meddling.”

“Such as?”

Tommy pointed to the top of James desk at an item.  James grabbed it, a collector’s edition of the Firefly television series on Blue Ray.  “What if I told in my original timeline that show only got a 14-episode season and a movie?”

James looked at his box set, it read The complete series, all 110 episodes from 5 seasons and the Movie Trilogy.  “That seems like a real loss man. This show was epic. Most think it is one of the best, I mean what if the SfyFy channel didn’t pick it up after Fox screwed it?”

“Nope, it died.  The point being that was something I could do, and I did.”

“Well it helped everyone’s careers I hope.”

“Let’s just say we didn’t get stuck with eight seasons of Castle.”

“Of what?”

“Never mind, we got the better deal in this timeline, the point is that I did some things that wouldn’t alter the timeline too much.  Even if they did it wasn’t going to do any damage.”

“So why tell me all of this now?” James asked.

“It has been building to this for forty years.  Todd Matherson only died when I wanted him too. I feel my position is now where it needs to be to take on the next part of my plan.”

“What are you?  Some evil overlord now?  Are you bent on world domination?”

“Not quite, but let’s just say the things I couldn’t change in the past to make things better I can do something about now.”

“Well that was as clear as mud.”

“Do you think I talked to you all those times about the market and the history of it all for my health?”

“I thought you really wanted to know that stuff.”

“I did.”

“Holy shit!!” James yelled.  “You wanted the historical data so you could go back and get in on the ground floor.  And I thought you really gave a shit about my job. That means you have had this damn machine for over 15 years!!”

“No I haven’t.  I was working on it for a while.  But the closer I got to finishing it the more a plan developed in my head.  Since you were a trader at the time and had access to all the historical data, I figured, why not.”

“There was google, even 15 years ago.”

“I know, but you had better access and it gave me a reason to reach out to you.  I knew that when the time came that I would need your expertise to help me with my modern day plans.  That is why I hired you and am now letting you in on the secret.”

“Well before we go any further, I want to know it all.  The details, the plans, all of it. If you need my help, then I have to be all in.”

“I get that, and I am willing to tell you it all.  There is a lot though, and I might skip over some. I have spent over 20 years in the past.”

James looked Tommy up and down.  Then he did it again. “You certainly are aging well then.”

“Right?  What I found was that during my excursions into the past I didn’t age, at least not like people from that time.  I would always have the return device on me. If it was that, or me or whatever, I was outside the time I was visiting, therefore I didn’t age like them.  To be honest, I have no idea why I didn’t. This all just sounds good and is just theoretical. The bottom line is I didn’t.”

“Good enough for me.  So should we order some food and drinks, cause you have some tales to tell.”  Tommy nodded and James reached for his phone.